Wrapping up.

Just like that, 4 years have passed. 

I'm glad i have this space to record the academic part of my semesters :) And i hope that it is somewhat useful for you too! I'll still be replying to comments :)

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Uni is truly the best period of your life to try new things. I've taken away a few life lessons throughout the years and i'll be sharing it from my perspective and opinions. I don't expect anything from you if you're reading this and if you have a different opinion from me, i respect that :) we're all on our own journey of life! this ain't gonna be some motivational post whatsoever haha, it's really just me sharing my thoughts about my years in uni. i will also be sharing about some stuff about God, and if it makes you feel uncomfortable, please just skip this! it is never my intention to offend anyone, i just wish to jot down my thoughts :)

Through the years i've learnt to really grasp the fact that grades do not define me. sure it seemed as if it's the end of the world getting 25th percentile or a less than ideal grade i was hoping for. My CAP wasn't ideal either, but this doesn't change who I am! my identity is not based on my intelligence or the number of my CAP. i guess everything felt so real and scary at that moment because in my life stage now, society deems CAP to be the very thing that defines my future. but when i took a step back and looked at the whole picture, CAP and grades are just a small part of my entire life. a 25th percentile for 1 module's 1 quiz is just a tiny tiny bump in this road of life. just a tiny bump that won't cause an accident with a permanent damage. i knew that grades weren't everything since year 1, but i was never truly convicted of it. deep down i'd still fear failure and worry so much about my grades. but as the years passed, as i grew in my walk with God too, i learnt that grades are just a small part of my life that God has planned for me. my identity isn't in how high my CAP is, my identity is in God. that regardless of the grade i got, i thanked God for it because He either planned it or allowed it or blessed me with it. if i felt that i didn't study enough and still did well, it's because of God's grace; if i tried my best and still got 25th percentile, i know that God's grace will still carry me through. it doesn't change how much He loves me or the plans He already has in mind for me. overall, it is God's blessings and grace that carried me through. and whatever CAP i'm gonna graduate with, i want to give thanks and all glory to the King :) what's more important is my well-being, my walk with God and what i have done for Him in response to His unconditional love. 

So although i am still jobless even after applying for SO many jobs, i know that somewhere out there is a job waiting for me. i know that God has a job in mind for me and i just need to continue seeking Him for directions. He hears my desires and I want to follow in His will for me too, so i hope God will soon show me which job to take :) my hope is in God, the One who provides for me. isn't it great, to know that the responsibility of your future isn't 100% on you (the burden is too great to bear eeks), and that you can place your hope in something, someone perfect and certain? :) i dont know, it just blows my mind that my future rests in someone greater than i am, and this someone cares and loves me unconditionally and will give me the best. 

I also realized that uni is truly the time to try new things. it's a safe environment to step out of my comfort zone. i'm glad i took up dance, performed, joined a committee, and tried out NUS ambassadors twice. uni, or at least my psych timetable, allows me to have pockets of time to pursue my passion or things i like. i really enjoyed trying new things although i was terrified of it. i'm blessed with a community who is so welcoming and loving. i also enjoyed meeting new people, especially cross-faculties because it's interesting to know what they study, how differently they think and just get to know new people :) sure the acquaintanceship hardly lasts, but it's the 'thrill' of talking to new people that i kinda enjoyed? hahaha. but i understand that this isn't for everyone. regardless, i'd still strongly encourage you to join a club or a cca or just an event! plus, classes in uni is much more affordable than classes outside. i thought some dance classes in uni is expensive, but i took that back when i tried an external dance studio's lessons haha. so make full use of your school fees and go for all the activities! 

making coursemate-friends was tough. it took me 6 sems to familiarize myself with my coursemates cos there are so many of them! it was in my last year when i really got to be more comfortable with my coursemates and say hi to them around school or at least acknowledge each other. i wish i had more time or more opportunities to interact with different coursemates. i'm thankful for church friends who take the same modules as me. working with friends in project groups has its pros and cons. it certainly comforted me to know that i can turn to them for support and not need to worry too much about sitting alone in lecture. although i do admit that i wish i had put myself out there more to group with other people in projects, to make new friends :) nonetheless, thank God for coursemate-friends in uni :") 

another 'source' of friends was from my cca. although we all studied at different faculties and are at different years, we kinda managed to take UE / GEMs together! it was q fun attending classes with cca friends :) i'll certainly miss spending evenings in the studio practicing dance routines, and the lovely mass dinners we have together at food clique or at YIH. these moments really bonded my friends and i. i've learnt that when one is really passionate about something, one will make time for it. no matter how packed my timetable was, i'd squeeze time to meet friends or go for dance. anything that can get my head out of academics! i used to be the go-home-straight-after-school girl in JC and secondary school, but uni was different. 

i spent fridays at cell in school. i'm thankful for a cell that is specially for arts students. somehow it's easier to talk to each other and we see one another along the corridors more often too. i used to have free fridays throughout year 1 to 3, but coming all the way back to school to meet this community of supportive and loving friends was totally worth it. 

it was definitely so hard to choose between dance and church-related activities. both are my passion! i have missed so many events that fell on friday nights, i have rejected performance opportunities just because most of the practice fell on friday nights. yet i also made it clear to my dance friends that if we had pracs on friday nights, i wouldn't be able to make it. making it clear where your priorities are is so important, especially for christians. i often asked God how i can be a testimony for Him in school and a small way was to let people know that my friday nights are blocked out for cell. it was intimidating and i was embarrassed about it at first. but as i grew and i saw the value of gathering as a community, i because less ashamed of mentioning about my activities in cell. 

if you are a fellow christian out there too, trust me when i encourage you to put God first in all that you do and invest your time and energy into His kingdom purposes. of course, i'm definitely not asking to devote all 5 days to church-related activities oh no. my personal conviction is that one can play all they want from mon till thurs, but if there is a time set apart for cell and church service, let it remain a sacred time for God. and in the decisions you make, always pray and seek after God's will for you! He hears your prayers and answers them in His perfect timing. as you honor Him in uni, He will honor you too! God desires to bless you out of His unfailing love for you :)

Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

yup, so these are just a few things i wanna wrap up uni with. i'm definitely terrified of entering the working world but i want to trust that God will protect me and provide for me through it all :) 

so alas, go! try new things, step out of your comfort zone, have fun. you never know what wonderful memories you can make when you do so :) uni is more than just grades, it's about personal growth and discovery too! 

till next time, take care!

ps, if you have some questions about God or you are interested to know more about who this God is, leave a comment and i'll gladly share with you more! there are no silly questions :)